Don't Stop Children From Growing Up

We always like to tell our children what or how they should think, feel or do. We remind them over and over again the things they must forgo and avoid. Like many others, we cannot resist measuring their progresses and achievements by our own yardsticks. But our guidance or assistance, and our overzealous and overpowering concerns do not seem to do much good. Family ties slowly deteriorate and weaken. This disrupts our relationship with one another. As time goes by, we suddenly realize that we become strangers.

We have learned important lessons from our past experiences. Sometimes, we have lived up to our expectations. Often we have fallen into great failures and depressions. Our past experiences make us what we are today. We are now of stronger character and able to stand strong. We expect our children to be like us and always listen to us. There goes a common saying that we eats more salt than the children eat rice.

It is hurting to behold our children fail in their endeavors. It is sad to watch them from afar struggling to match up to their race. But they refuse our assistance and our guidance because they want to act tough like their parents, not knowing that their parents were once as weak as them when they were young.

It is time to mend our relationships. Let us stop imposing our ways and values on our young ones. Let us rather stay beside them helping them to realize their vision, their interests and ambitions.

We take it for granted that what we have experienced have made us grow up. Most of us are conservative. Children must always respect and obey their elders. Failures to do so mean infidelity and rebellion.

We have done so much to discipline our young ones. We are scared that they may fall into similar troubles. But no matter how hard we try, we can never stop them from getting hurt and getting more scars both inside and outside.

Our life's scars remind us of our struggles, our victories and our failures. But they never stop us from facing the next life storm. If we are ready for any life storm, can't we rest assured that the Almighty God can carry our young ones through their next life storm?

Mother Lies To Me Eight Times

The story began when I was a child.

I was born of a poor family. We often lack of food. When it is time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice. As she put her rice into my bowl, she would say, "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry" −− Mother's First Lie.

When I grew up, my persevering mother spent her spare time fishing in a river near our house. She hoped from the fishes she got, she could gave me some nutritious food for my growth.

After fishing, she would cook a fresh fish soup, which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the flesh from the bone. My heart was touched when I saw it. I then gave the other fish to her. But she would immediately refused and said, "Eat this fish, son. I don't really like fish." -- Mother's Second Lie.

When I was in Junior High School, to fund my study, mother went to the tailor to bring some clothing to sew at night. It gave her some money to cover our needs. During midnight, as I woke up from my sleep, I often saw my mother still awoke, supported by a little candlelight and continued sewing. I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late, tomorrow morning you still have to go for work." Mother smiled and said, "Go to sleep, dear. I'm not tired." -- Mother's Third Lie.

Happy Mother Day

At my final term exam, mother asked for leave from her work to accompany me. My mother waited for me under the heat of the sun for hours. When the bell finally rang, mother rushed to me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared. The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother's love, which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration, I immediately gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said, "Drink, my son. I'm not thirsty!" -- Mother's Fourth Lie.

After the death of my father because of illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. Holding on to her former job, she had to fund for our needs alone. Our family's life was more dificult; not a day without suffering. Seeing our family's condition getting worse, a nice uncle who lived nearby came to help us. Our other neighbors who lived near us often advised my mother to marry again. But mother didn't listen to them. She said, "I don't need a man." -- Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my study and got a job, it was time for my old mother to retire. But she didn't want to. she went to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetable to meet her needs. I worked in the other city and I often sent her money. But she wouldn't accept my money. She even sent the money back to me. She said, "I have enough money." -- Mother's Sixth Lie.

I then continued my master degree in a famous University in America, funded by a company through a scholarship program. Then I worked for the company in America. With my high salary, I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life with me in America. But my loving mother didn't want to burden her son. She said to me, "I'm not used to life in America." -- Mother's Seventh Lie.

After entering her old age, mother became sick and had to be hospitalized. I rushed home to visit my dearest mother. She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation.

Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn. She tried to spread her smile on her face though it looked so stiff. It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother's body; she looked so weak and thin. I stared at her with tears flowing down my face. My heart was hurt, so hurt, to see my mother in that condition. But mother, with her strength, said: "Don't cry, my dear. I'm not in pain." -- Mother's Eight Lie.

After saying her eighth lie, my dearest mother closed her eyes forever.

I believe that you, my dear friends, feel touched by my life story and eager to say: "Thank you, Mom!"

How long haven't we visited our parents? How long haven't we spent our time chatting with them?

When we are crowded with activities, we always have thousands of excuses to leave our lonely parents. We always forget our parents who stay at home.

Have we ever worried about our parents? Worry about whether they have eaten or not? Worry about whether they are happy or not?

While we still have the chance to pay back their kindness, let us try -- not lie for another 8 times.

Take Me To My Mother

A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away.

As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.

He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother.

But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars."

The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose."

He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers.

As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home.

She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother."

She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.

The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.

Resignation

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8-year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four-star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think the world is fair; that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So...here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And, if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause...

"Tag! You're it!"

We Sometimes Long For A Child's Life.

Bond Of Trust

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold daddy's hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

"What is the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There is a big difference," replied the little girl.

"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go."

"But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours.

No Pointing Fingers

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected.

Many people are afraid of losing face.

Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.

This is the start of a war.

We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

Why Does Mommy Cry Easily?

One day, a young boy asked his Mom.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a woman" she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's okay."

Later, the little boy asked his father, "Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason" was all his Dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally, he put in a call to God.

When God got back to him, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God answered, "When I made woman, I decided she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, but her arms gentle enough to give comfort."

"I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come, even from her own children."

"I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue, without complaining."

"I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her badly. She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears."

"I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults, and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart."

"I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly."

"For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed. It is her's to use whenever needed and is her only weakness."

"When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her and all she does for everyone. And even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good."

"She is special!"

Whom To Blame

A child was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage.

They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.

When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.

He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard.

His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle. Fascinated by its colour, he drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.

When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died.

The mother was stunned.

She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words....

The husband just said "I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. Until we decide to change, we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Living With Mother-In-Law

A long time ago in China, a girl named Sui Lin got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law.

In a very short time, Sui Lin found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Sui Lin was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Sui Lin constantly.

Days passed and weeks passed. Sui Lin and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Sui Lin had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Sui Lin's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Sui Lin could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.

Sui Lin went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, "Sui Lin, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Sui Lin said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."

Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Sui Lin, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving in order to make sure that nobody suspect you when she dies. You must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her. Obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen."

Sui Lin was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by and months went by, and every other day, Sui Lin served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Sui Lin had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset.

She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Sui Lin changed, and she began to love Sui Lin like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Sui Lin was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Sui Lin and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Sui Lin's husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Sui Lin came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again.

She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She has changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Sui Lin, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

Have you realized that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying, "The person who loves others will also be loved in return."

Remember, God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.

Graduation Gift

A young man was getting ready to graduate from a college.

For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom.

Knowing that his father could well afford it, he told him all he wanted.

As graduation day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.

Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study.

His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him.

He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.

Feeling very angry, he raised his voice to his father and said "With all your money, you give me a bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and a wonderful family.

But he realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.

Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all his possessions to him. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new bible, just as he had left it years ago.

With tears, he opened the bible and began to turn the pages. And as he did, a car key dropped from the back of the bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sport car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss our blessings and answers to our prayers because they do not arrive exactly as we have expected?

Mother's Love and Sacrifices

After having reached the peak of his career, a man felt an urge to repay back to his mother for all that she had done for him.

So he asked her, "Mother, what can I give you? What can I do for you? I sincerely want to repay you for all the sacrifies you have made for me and for all the love you have showered upon me."

She looked surprised and said, "Why do you think about it. It was my duty, so I did it. You don't have to repay me. Even if you want to, there is no way a man can ever repay his mother."

Despite her continuous refusal to ask for anything, he continued to persist. To put an end to the discussion, She said, "All right. If you must, then tonight you sleep on my bed with me, just as you used to when you were a baby."

He said, "That's a strange thing to ask for, but if it pleases you, I will."

As soon as he fell asleep, the mother got up and brought a bucket of water. She poured a mug full of water on his side. Feeling disturbed of wetness under him, In his sleep he moved away to the other side of the bed. As he settled down, his mother poured another mug of water on the other side. In his slumber, he tried to find space towards the foot of the bed.

Sometime later, he woke up feeling that this part of the bed too was damp. He got up and saw his mother, with the mug in her hand. He asked angrily, "What are you doing, mother? Why don't you let me sleep? How do you expect me to sleep on a wet bed?"

She said, "I slept with you when you wetted the bed in the night. I changed your nappy and moved you to the dry part of the bed, while I slept on the wet side. You wanted to repay me. Can you sleep here even for one night with me on a damp bed? If you can, I'll take it that you have repaid me."

How true it is that of all the debts in the world, the one that can never be repaid is the one you owed to your mother. You can never repay the love, the care and the time your mother gave you to bring you up. You are a part of her flesh and blood. Don't forget this, because she never ever forgets it.

Unconditional Love

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.

"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come and live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him.

A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.

Thankfully, God who won't treat us that way. God loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into our eternal home, regardless of how messed up we are.

The Bird Is Ready To Fly

It is not easy to be separated from our loved ones after we have taken care of them for so many years. We have loved and cherished them the moment they were born. We have nourished them and kept them safe and sound physically and spiritually. And the thoughts of separation pricks our hearts and wear us out.

But the fact is that our children are growing up. Whether we like it or not, our children have learnt how to kick, how to turn, how to crawl, how to sit, how to stretch out their hands and feet, and in a blink of our eyes, they have learnt how to stand up and get ready to walk and run. Time waits for nobody. The bird is ready to fly...

We are worried how they will fare without our leadership, advice and guidance. Will they be ready to face the rising challenges? Can they readily cultivate more friendships and more help groups? Will they stay focused in seeking, finding and achieving all their goals? Will they succumb to the trials and temptations of the world? Our minds plagued with deterring thoughts but we finally decide to let them go. The bird is ready to fly...

Poor old man, let loose of your hands and let them free. Let them fly. Let them soar on high. Let them chase after their visions with their youthful and energetic spirit. Let them take charge, face and conquer every single battle that come along their ways. Let them go...Let them fly... May God help us take good care of them. Amen and Amen.

Learning From Children

Children's Speech
When you speak to your children, their speech is so simple yet so sincere. They look at you intently yearning for your attention. They touch you, hold you, and caress you to tell you how much you mean to them. They wait attentively for you to speak without interrupting unnecessarily. They speak sweetly, softly yet audibly to you. But you... Where have your attention and care to these children gone after all these years?

Children's Laughter
When you play and joke with your children, they never fail to laugh heartily; they laugh and laugh without reserve, and they never fail to make you laugh even when you try to control yourself not to. Their laughter disperses all your toils and troubles. But you... Where have your laughter to these children gone after all these years?

Children's Obedience
When you bring your children everywhere, they never fail to look up to you. They wouldn't let go of your hands even as you try to. They follow closely to you until they are sleepy and tired. Then they urge you to carry and yearn for your hug as you continue your journey. Your children teach you patience and obedience. But you... Where have you lost your patience and obedience after all these years?

Children's Growth
When you see your children grow, they never give up in their struggles. They fall often but they never fail to stand up. They make mistakes often but they never fail to make amend and try to perfect their skills. But you become even more judgemental; you hinder, you obstruct and you make their way even more difficult. But you.. How have you progressed after all these years?

And so...
As I teach and as I learn all these years, I perceive that I am only a child teaching another child the way of the adult. And so I pray... Oh God, Teach me how to live as an adult that Our children may know your way of an adult through me. Amen.