Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Enhancing Relationships

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships.

When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship.

Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.

She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence.

She repeated, "PUB."

There was still no answer.

When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

Changing One's Character

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much.

People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.

Actually, this is not the case.

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

Fall In Love and Fell Out Of Love

The Meaning Of Love

We can never understand why two people fall in love. Love is more than just words. It is more than the interests, attractions, concerns and attributes that two people share. When love comes, some fall in love while others fell out of love. We don't know why. Love just moves on and continue to bring blessings and sorrows to more and more people.

Love Is A Gift To Be Treasured

When we fall in love, we must take firm hold of it and celebrate it in all its beauty. It is our very dream comes true. And we must never stop to treasure every single moment of our love.

Love Is A Gift That May Not Stay

Some refuse to see love as a gift that comes and goes. When they fall out of love, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost, rather than accepting it as a gift, and quietly move on in their life. They try to find out what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them. They try to make changes, thinking that if things were different, love would bloom once more. They blame their circumstances and decide that if they go on a long journey and start a new life, their love will grow again. They try anything and everything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the fact that love in itself is a gift that may not stay.

When Love Is Not Returned

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just refuses to rest in the other person's heart. If you find out that someone is in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the love you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain.

When Love Chooses To Leave

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is to accept it for all its mysteries when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who are poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

Love Is A Gift To Be Shared, Not Possessed

Some people understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that must be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. They seek love but never generate love to others. They forget that love is a gift to be shared with others for the good of the world.

Love Is Always A Mystery

Love has its time, its season, and its reason for coming and going. We cannot bribe it or reason it into staying. We can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to us. But if it chooses to leave, there is nothing we can do or should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that love came to live for a moment in our life.