Friday, March 5, 2010

Our Good Relationship

Not many of us can live alone in a foreign land for long. Imagine living in a world without our family, our loved ones and our friends. It will be very forlorn and miserable. We may eventually get mad and begin to scream and shout!

But sometimes, because of the nature of our job, the call of duty or some personal commitments, we may have to leave our loved ones and our friends, and go to far away places to work and have our being. It may be days, months or years before we return and see them again.

It will be nice and wonderful if we end up in a big city, town or village where there are many people around. We can have many things to see, to hear, to smell, to feel and to touch. There may also be places to roam and explore, to eat and to drink, to play and have fun, to enjoy our hearts out with the intention of forgetting about our loneliness and miseries. We may also want to look for places of worship and solace to pour our hearts out. And that is the beauty of friendship and relationship : when there are people, there is hope.

But how about those moving into the deep jungle to cut down trees, or going offshore to extract oil and gas, or those who spend all their living doing deep-sea fishing? How about those doing border patrolling, or going to remote villages where they know nothing about to provide good services? Our very first response maybe that it is not our concern. And it is tempting for us to provide answer like they are leading an exciting and adventurous lives. But what if we are given the same duty call? Our hearts may turn cold and our smiles and laughter may disappear.

But that is how things go! When it is our turn to pack and go to remote places, we start to mourn and cry, we kick and scream, and we make up all excuses not to go. But when we hear of our friends out there enjoying very attractive pay, allowances, and fringe benefits, we become very jealous and angry. Oh! How sinful nature plays a vital role in our lives, causing us to be overwhelmed with so much hatred, bitterness and resentment.

But things may change as we go along. We may become mature, wiser, and more stable. We learn to take life as it is and live it as best as we can. No matter where we go, and stay put, we will somehow learn to develop relationship and build understanding. We will find someone who can accompany us, and contribute to our lives. And that is the beauty of friendship and relationship : when there are people, we seek love and connection.

And so we learn to cultivate friendship and relationship, the two important virtues of love in life. It is always a must have to live successfully and happily.

But I am not here to talk about total dependence. Total dependence on relatives and friends is a social disease that must be done away with. It is okay if we need to depend on people sometimes, especially when we fall short of our dreams or when we need help. But too much dependence on others will only hamper our growth, and hinder our desire and commitment to experience life and all that it has to offer. Besides, our friendship and relationship may become strained and stressful, causing it to ruin and end.

Good relationship involves mutual respect, care and acceptance of the person as he or she is. We do not want to force people to listen to what we say and accept all our views. We don't play God and teach others to play God. And we don't need "yes men" around us who only know how to respond accordingly to what we want. We need people whom we can work and build together. We need people who are concerned and helpful. And we try to inspire, encourage, challenge, strengthen, support and sustain one another. And that is the beauty of friendship and relationship : we develop a world of useful people.

I treasure and cherish all my friendship and relationship. I welcome all means and methods to promote them and build them up. I have no desire to live alone and isolated in the little corner of my world. I am not born a loner or a loser. Many family members, relatives, and friends have accompanied me through the years to cheer me on. They are all familiar faces passing through my mind every now and then, touching and warming all my heart, and spurring me on all the way and all the time! And that is the beauty of my friendship and relationship : we are a family of good people sharing love. We have fun together. We laugh and play together. We can sing all day long. We talk and share about everything under the sky. We mourn and cry when our loved one dies. And we...........

True friendship and relationship is like a little plant of very slow growth. It is nurtured, cared for and loved all the time. It undergoes every trial and temptation. It withstands every shocks of adversity and afflictions. And it continues to grow and becomes a tall and big tree. And many people find their shelter, their love, their joy, their peace, their hope...... under it.

And so we have the beauty of friendship and relationship, where we learn to celebrate and appreciate love, in a big family full of different people with different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, and different dreams.

Oh, our good relationship!

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